What is it about old farts?
More importantly how the bloody hell did they last long enough to become old farts?
I was driving down Worcester Boulevard yesterday lunch time in the sunshine. There was an old fart wandering up the road (the footpath, at least three metres wide, was obviously not wide enough for him) ahead of me.
As I got to within 3 metres of him he changed direction and wandered right across my path.
Having witnessed old farts stupidity before I was prepared for this and braked while the old fart wandered on oblivious to his narrow escape.
This behaviour is common on the streets of Christchurch.
Old farts have become a serious road hazard, wandering into traffic regularly and driving atrociously.
It is not uncommon to see an old fart driving 20 – 25 KPH below the speed limit along busy highways, always looking straight ahead (because they can no longer turn their heads on their necks), often weaving across the lane.
Nor is it uncommon to have old farts stop in front of you in the middle of the road without warning or obvious reason, pull over right or left without signal or slow right down in the middle of the road, signal a turn and then carry on straight ahead regardless of the actions of other traffic.
Pedestrian and driver behaviour of old farts has become far worse over the last year.
I make this point because I am not far away from qualifying as an old fart and I want to avoid becoming this bloody stupid.
I also now need to have answered my original question; How do you last long enough to become an old fart?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tits out!
Stuff today carries it's once a month wank about public breast feeding, the stopping of.
This time a sheila went into a Timaru cafe to "have a cup of coffee and breast feed her" brat.
Now I'm not a fan of public nudity, mainly because it seldom looks good, but it seldom disturbs me. That reminds me of the old movie saying - If you're making a film about nudist colonies bring your own nudists.
I care not whether a sheila gets her tits out or not, nor whether they're full of milk (or not) but even I can see why the cafe owner asked her to cover up.
If only he'd had the foresight to place in his restaurant a prominent sign stating "ONLY FOOD PREPARED AND SOLD ON THESE PREMISES MAY BE CONSUMED HERE".
This time a sheila went into a Timaru cafe to "have a cup of coffee and breast feed her" brat.
Now I'm not a fan of public nudity, mainly because it seldom looks good, but it seldom disturbs me. That reminds me of the old movie saying - If you're making a film about nudist colonies bring your own nudists.
I care not whether a sheila gets her tits out or not, nor whether they're full of milk (or not) but even I can see why the cafe owner asked her to cover up.
If only he'd had the foresight to place in his restaurant a prominent sign stating "ONLY FOOD PREPARED AND SOLD ON THESE PREMISES MAY BE CONSUMED HERE".
Monday, March 7, 2011
Back to work folks
I'm effing sick of it!
The slime-led whingeing and whining that is.
Yes we had a bloody earthquake – very bloody indeed although it pales in comparrisson to Pakistan or Haiti (among many others) for bloodiness.
Yes people are displaced, distressed and uncomfortable.
Yes many businesses (including, probably, mine) are shagged.
BUT
The world hasn't ended!
People are remarkable creatures and they (we) will overcome these obstacles and come again.
Already people are returning to normal, albeit with a new story to tell and alrteady there seems to be competition to tell the most horriffic story.
I was one of the lucky ones, changing my normal routine and consequently saving my own bacon (and probably my ass) by being nowhere near central Christchurch, Lyttleton (where I'd been until 11:30 that morning) or the Port Hills when calamity struck and so I have to listen to theirs.
That's not what I'm sick of.
This morning's The Press headlines a family who say they are constantly scared. They're not alone for christs sake, the whole bloody province stiffens up when the pre-quake rumble happens. Then we let our breath escape, think “that was a good 'un” or “tiddler that time” or similar and carry on with whatever we were doing.
No news there at all.
Stuff today (and probably The Press) carried a story of how Shirley Boys High was now combined with Papanui High School but did not comment on the good deed by Papanui that saw that possible, did not remark on how, now, Papanui High School will be able to field a competitive rugby team.
No, it whinged about how SBH boys have to travel across to Papanui (Not, incidently, a hell of a long way).
Other news today has been about the City Council attempting to make CHCH safe by “deconstructing” dangerously unstable buildings but being thwarted by the Save Our Dangerous Buildings So They Can Kill Someone Else crowd, led of course by the bloody Red party nutters.
I could understand them if they were protesting about the term “deconstruct” being used instead of demolish but no, they're stopping CHCH people from moving safely because their building is old or, in one case, because they don't know where they can set up again – Green/Red wankers!
Only the stupid bloody slime would side with anyone against getting CHCH safe and working again.
No bloody more! Let's just get on with rebuilding Christchurch, getting people into employment and getting Christchurch's biggest industry, tourism, restarted.
Fuck the slime, fuck the communists, full speed ahead!
The slime-led whingeing and whining that is.
Yes we had a bloody earthquake – very bloody indeed although it pales in comparrisson to Pakistan or Haiti (among many others) for bloodiness.
Yes people are displaced, distressed and uncomfortable.
Yes many businesses (including, probably, mine) are shagged.
BUT
The world hasn't ended!
People are remarkable creatures and they (we) will overcome these obstacles and come again.
Already people are returning to normal, albeit with a new story to tell and alrteady there seems to be competition to tell the most horriffic story.
I was one of the lucky ones, changing my normal routine and consequently saving my own bacon (and probably my ass) by being nowhere near central Christchurch, Lyttleton (where I'd been until 11:30 that morning) or the Port Hills when calamity struck and so I have to listen to theirs.
That's not what I'm sick of.
This morning's The Press headlines a family who say they are constantly scared. They're not alone for christs sake, the whole bloody province stiffens up when the pre-quake rumble happens. Then we let our breath escape, think “that was a good 'un” or “tiddler that time” or similar and carry on with whatever we were doing.
No news there at all.
Stuff today (and probably The Press) carried a story of how Shirley Boys High was now combined with Papanui High School but did not comment on the good deed by Papanui that saw that possible, did not remark on how, now, Papanui High School will be able to field a competitive rugby team.
No, it whinged about how SBH boys have to travel across to Papanui (Not, incidently, a hell of a long way).
Other news today has been about the City Council attempting to make CHCH safe by “deconstructing” dangerously unstable buildings but being thwarted by the Save Our Dangerous Buildings So They Can Kill Someone Else crowd, led of course by the bloody Red party nutters.
I could understand them if they were protesting about the term “deconstruct” being used instead of demolish but no, they're stopping CHCH people from moving safely because their building is old or, in one case, because they don't know where they can set up again – Green/Red wankers!
Only the stupid bloody slime would side with anyone against getting CHCH safe and working again.
No bloody more! Let's just get on with rebuilding Christchurch, getting people into employment and getting Christchurch's biggest industry, tourism, restarted.
Fuck the slime, fuck the communists, full speed ahead!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Stoneage screeching - a question
What is it about bagpipes?
Every official function I've watched over the last few years has had either a lone piper or a full pipe band as part of it.
I've just watched a group of graduating students walk across Christchurch from the Arts Centre to the Town Hall.
They were, of course, led by a bloody piper.
Often at functions, by the time the stoneage wailing and the pipe band (stoneage screeching?) have finished there is no time for the function.
Why in this English based, multicultural society as far from Britain as anyone can get, do function organisers insist on this bloody Scottish torture at every junction?
The noise defies description.
It is a well known fact that after the Royal Navy, the Royal Airforce and the “Paras” had failed to remove the Argentine forces from the Falklands in 1982 a lone piper was installed, with megaphone, on a hill overlooking Port Stanley. (13th of June, 1982 – look it up)
A great tactic.
The Paras withdrew three miles out to sea and those Argies who could not run/swim fast enough surrendered en-masse to the only Pom left on the island, a deaf gunner's mate who was having a slash when the piper started up, and demanded earplugs.
I myself am on record as stating that far from being best when heard emanating from over the water (an oft told falsehood) bagpipes are far better when heard coming from under the water.
The only time I've ever found the bagpipes even partially acceptable was when a group of four young fellows started playing outside the Christchurch Cathedral last week and for a short time their caterwauling drowned out the incessant, tuneless whistling and braying of a blind lunatic who infests this area and pollutes the whole square.
Surely it is time for NZ to stand up and say enough, we want our own “music” to lead the procession.
I suggest a lone Maori guitarist strumming Ten Guitars – which should, if you think about it take care of the stoneage wailing as well.
Every official function I've watched over the last few years has had either a lone piper or a full pipe band as part of it.
I've just watched a group of graduating students walk across Christchurch from the Arts Centre to the Town Hall.
They were, of course, led by a bloody piper.
Often at functions, by the time the stoneage wailing and the pipe band (stoneage screeching?) have finished there is no time for the function.
Why in this English based, multicultural society as far from Britain as anyone can get, do function organisers insist on this bloody Scottish torture at every junction?
The noise defies description.
It is a well known fact that after the Royal Navy, the Royal Airforce and the “Paras” had failed to remove the Argentine forces from the Falklands in 1982 a lone piper was installed, with megaphone, on a hill overlooking Port Stanley. (13th of June, 1982 – look it up)
A great tactic.
The Paras withdrew three miles out to sea and those Argies who could not run/swim fast enough surrendered en-masse to the only Pom left on the island, a deaf gunner's mate who was having a slash when the piper started up, and demanded earplugs.
I myself am on record as stating that far from being best when heard emanating from over the water (an oft told falsehood) bagpipes are far better when heard coming from under the water.
The only time I've ever found the bagpipes even partially acceptable was when a group of four young fellows started playing outside the Christchurch Cathedral last week and for a short time their caterwauling drowned out the incessant, tuneless whistling and braying of a blind lunatic who infests this area and pollutes the whole square.
Surely it is time for NZ to stand up and say enough, we want our own “music” to lead the procession.
I suggest a lone Maori guitarist strumming Ten Guitars – which should, if you think about it take care of the stoneage wailing as well.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Swine flu
Swine flu fever is gripping the world!
Gripping may be the most accurate word here.
In fact it appears that outside of Mexico the new "flu" causes just mild inconvenience and people recover from it easily with zero deaths reported - even among the very young, old etc. who succumb to most "flu" type viruses.
Could this virus be the first overtly racist virus ever detected?
Gripping may be the most accurate word here.
In fact it appears that outside of Mexico the new "flu" causes just mild inconvenience and people recover from it easily with zero deaths reported - even among the very young, old etc. who succumb to most "flu" type viruses.
Could this virus be the first overtly racist virus ever detected?
Saturday, April 25, 2009
new PC
Why, when buying a new PC or upgrading damned near everything in the existing one is a simple, daylong process, not even that expensive anymore does it take weeks to find stuff you already had for the new set-up and why can't I bloody find everything I had?
Friday, April 10, 2009
A new low
Stuff.co.nz on Easter Saturday, 11 April, 2009, has managed something no one thought possible.
It has created a new low in reporting.
A headline on Stuff.co.nz reads "Girl loses limb to out-of-control street racers".
The body of the story, once you get past the pure sensationalist bullshit however states that the girl who was hurt was among a group sitting on the road, drinking just over the brow of a hill and the young male driver, driving a typical young male's car, came over the top of that rise, saw the girl too late, swerved to avoid her, also too late, and ran her over.
The police called to the scene obviously noted the true nature of the incident and let the young man go without charge.
Whether he is charged later makes no difference.
While there is a problem with boy racers the problem is small, most so-called "boy racers" being simply young men and women doing exactly what young men and women have been prone to do since clubs as marital tools went out of fashion, attracting like minded people of the opposite sex for the purpose of mating.
This incident had nothing to do with boys racing and by sensationalising the story with such an ignorant headline just proves how pathetic NZ's media is.
Shame in Stuff.co.nz!
It has created a new low in reporting.
A headline on Stuff.co.nz reads "Girl loses limb to out-of-control street racers".
The body of the story, once you get past the pure sensationalist bullshit however states that the girl who was hurt was among a group sitting on the road, drinking just over the brow of a hill and the young male driver, driving a typical young male's car, came over the top of that rise, saw the girl too late, swerved to avoid her, also too late, and ran her over.
The police called to the scene obviously noted the true nature of the incident and let the young man go without charge.
Whether he is charged later makes no difference.
While there is a problem with boy racers the problem is small, most so-called "boy racers" being simply young men and women doing exactly what young men and women have been prone to do since clubs as marital tools went out of fashion, attracting like minded people of the opposite sex for the purpose of mating.
This incident had nothing to do with boys racing and by sensationalising the story with such an ignorant headline just proves how pathetic NZ's media is.
Shame in Stuff.co.nz!
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